green illusion

I like you, he said - I like you too she replied. At that moment he opened up his eyes and allowed her to look straight inside him. He let her make her way up, through the maze of his nerves. He let her crawl up his veins until she found his soul- And at that moment they had found it, -They had reached the uncomfortable silence only it was not uncomfortable.

There comes a time in life when life becomes life, when the chips are grounded, when the supposedly fat lady has had her tune and fate has shown her elusive face. We are at such a time and while we may not understand the change in tide, we will celebrate the moment in true tribal grandiose like we know how to. Tonight we celebrate a man, tonight we toast to a marvelously marvelous character, we celebrate a man we have grown to love with a dash of hot pepper to taste. Here is to you Harry, a true man's man, you have become a friend to all of us and we are honored to to call you a brother. May the good times roll and may God's face shine ever so brightly upon you and your jeune family. A la votre sante!

How do you describe everything? With what words do you define entirety? How do you paint the picture of a man, the portrait of a friend who has given and continues to give everything? With what words do you portray a man whose outlines you cannot imagine, a man you constantly chisel your living around with some hope that one day, that for one moment, you can make up a resemblance. The answer is you do not, when you have received so much from someone, you give. You attempt to give thanks, you make it your duty, your obligation to give thanks and humble yourself because God blessed you that much. You thank God and beg him to keep him; you pray that God illuminates his living ever so brightly. I have learned that it is only through God’s constantly renewed mercies that we are we, that we are what we are, that we were there, that we have been 60 years ago, 35 years ago, 30 years ago… That it is only through God’s mercies that we will be here in the next hour for the next hour that ...

Imagine me on the edge, at the end of the line, my hands clasping at a straw, my head barely above the water. Imagine the wind attempting with all its force to tip me over and yet in all this am smiling. Never have I felt so helpless yet so powerful. It is all ahead of me and I can feel it, I can see it, I am 26 in a few hours and dreaming again. June has not been a month for mushiness, of scented candles and pink 'lushiness'. It has not had anything for the faint hearted. I have had to question everything, all my comforts have been disrupted leaving me in a constant state of in between and never there, always at the edge, yet in all this I have grown to trust my Lord more, rely on him at every dawn and give thanks at dusk. God has been my shield in all this and because of it I have never felt more stronger, more determined to light up my section of the hill. Here is to my Lord, my righteousness, my shield, my redemption, my everything. Here is to being unshackeled from li...

Truth be told I have had an amazing year thus far, God has been ever so graceful to me regardless of my perpetual failings. Now just as I was wading through clouds of joy and peace with a heart full of verve and conquer, I seem to have hit a snag. Over the last couple of days I have allowed discontent to make its way up through my nerves and now my brain seems to be stained to the grey with it. Everywhere I turn there seems to be something I do not quite like, something I'd rather not have going that way. So I want to lace up and sprint away from it. Run to a fortified castle far far away in the sun where I will be free from it all, free from the reality of it. But that's just it, its nothing but a fantasy, chaff that is soon blown away by a frail wind. As soon as I allow myself to even think it, as soon as I drift away into the sunset, reality slaps me right back in line like a disturbed teacher would a school boy. "It is not going to happen Henry, she snorts, your i...

My year begins with a huge event, something that could potentially affect my entire year ahead in more ways than I can anticipate at this moment yet I have no idea what will be of it. I have a meeting with my bosses, 'a chat' is what they called it but for me a session with my bosses is going to be anything but a chat. I am getting more and more anxious, nervous even in the hours leading up to it. My job means a whole lot to me and the people around me so any discussion on it will take all the priority and I can think of nothing else. The thing is with just a couple of hours left to it, I am powerless and unable to dictate the path it will take. (You have never been in control, have you?) That task, I left in my prayer yesterday, last night, this morning and a few minutes ago to the LORD, only he can influence it. My worries, my fears cannot after all add or remove an inch to anything. I have settled with the comfort that God will work all things for my good and that ...

This is it, this is the end, the moment we have all been thrusting our minds and bodies towards through the year. It is the big finish. The fumes of satisfaction and victory choke the hall we are all crammed in; everyone seems to be in sync with harmony. Everyone, everyone but me, everyone is ecstatic but me, everyone else is reveling in the glitz but me. I am not in tune with the pop of champagne, my laughter is broken and my smiles cannot hide the lies. My spirit is faint and it is fast becoming obvious to everyone else. They can all see it; am a marked man and the whispers behind my back tell it all, hell, my palpitating heart and fleeing shadow betray me. It is now obvious. So why am I still here?, why do I still breath? Of what purpose am I to this world, to my family, to my friends? I have only lied to them all this while and my makeup cannot hold anymore. The cracks are visible to all, if anything, I should be crawling in the filth of my death. Yet inspite of my mischie...