It is My Life - Don't Barge In, Please Knock...

 "Don't you think you should get a job, Bolanle? Won't you apply for this bank job, in the newspapers, Bolnale? Didn't you see the handsome boy that was looking at you, Bolanle?" - Bolanle, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

There are a couple of directions we could take with this, but then again.... but then again, what is the point? People talk! That is what we do, we talk and we give our opinions. We make sure we are heard even in the absence of voice. It is estimated that in the span of an average day, an individual speaks 7000 words. For context, 7000 is within the word limit for a short story. But anyway...

 So what is the problem? Lets see, you are not comfortable with my relationship status, you did not quite like my tone in the email , I spoke too little and then too much, I could have used words with fewer syllables, the choice of my clothes bothers you a little and you believe I could have given you more attention the other evening. 

Now here is what bothers me, when you  are constantly throwing instructions my way, constantly speaking over me, the feeling is that my life does not matter. I should simply drop everything and jump to your tune. You are not satisfied, there could be more, there could be less but who knows, I certainly don't - you do. 

"Life is irregular' - Sammuel Tally, Game of Thrones

Every so often, life hands us lemons, what we do with them though, is completely unscripted. There are scores of things one could do with a lemon, making lemonade is not the only option. More importantly, the choices we make completely define who and what we become. It is critical.  

So if there are options with what we can do with the proverbial lemon, why are you insistent on what I should do with mine? Life is after-all, irregular! The only constant I presume is that we are all striving for a happy, a fruitful and purposive life. 

Knock on door, don't barge in...

Finally my point - we are different, we have had different experiences and are likely looking at life very differently this very moment. To quote the African proverb, "no matter how tall your grandfather is, you have to grow your own height".  

Critically though, humans are social beings and if the COVID-19 pandemic has taught us anything is how much we need and affect each other. 

Positively, we can be better, especially if we make an effort to get to know each other and not take shots at each other based purely on presuppositions and 'words on the street' . 

So lets have some real conversations, make some real connections and get things done with as little fuss as possible.