green illusion

Beauty  just like sadness has an infinite range and the only way to  accurately grasp it all is to imagine - Alex Pierce, A Brief History of Seven Killings.  I have always said that I struggle to write in the sunny moments of my life, my excuse has always been that I am too busy enjoying them. This unfortunately is not the piece to buck the trend but it does promise it 😏.  First off, this has been an exciting year, full of all the right juices and oomph. However, it has been underlined with a need to pussyfoot, it has been serenaded with an undying whisper of imminent distress. Because of that, the experiences that I have had, the lessons and information that I have had to take on will never leave me. They will never leave because they took root in places where youth and all its liberties once stood.  Change It has also been a year of change and growth and certainly not without its fair share of pain as is expected with the push to occupy 'new' spaces. We will

“That was how it was, sometimes. You put yourself in front of the thing and waited for whatever was going to happen and that was all. It scared you and it didn't matter. You stood and faced it. There was no outwitting anything.  Sometimes you looked the thing in the eye and it turned away. Sometimes it didn't. -  She had learned, in her life, that time lived inside of you. You are time, you breathe time" - Almodine, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. We are speaking about this again. I am writing about this again, I am writing to you about my regrets, I am writing to you about things that happened, regrettable things, things I had control over and yet I still let them happen - I am writing about choosing the less pleasant path. Yesterday was difficult, seeing you was difficult. Even though I had gone through it in my mind & felt very comfortable with my choices, seeing you made me doubt it all. Was it the right thing to do? Was there another way? And even wi