A Bunch of Thoughts on Handling Discomfort, Change, Finding Rest & Happiness

Beauty  just like sadness has an infinite range and the only way to  accurately grasp it all is to imagine - Alex Pierce, A Brief History of Seven Killings. 

I have always said that I struggle to write in the sunny moments of my life, my excuse has always been that I am too busy enjoying them. This unfortunately is not the piece to buck the trend but it does promise it 😏. 

First off, this has been an exciting year, full of all the right juices and oomph. However, it has been underlined with a need to pussyfoot, it has been serenaded with an undying whisper of imminent distress. Because of that, the experiences that I have had, the lessons and information that I have had to take on will never leave me. They will never leave because they took root in places where youth and all its liberties once stood. 

Change

It has also been a year of change and growth and certainly not without its fair share of pain as is expected with the push to occupy 'new' spaces. We will get into all of that and how I am dealing with it soon but first let me indulge you with what I picked up from reading Chimamanda’s 'Americanah':

1. We are all just looking for more choices and certainty in life, 
2. along the journey things may happen to us or because of us and 
3. sometimes you are the victim, sometimes the protagonist 

Now, each time you are faced with difficulty, each time you are made uncomfortable, the last thing you want to do is fight. You cannot always resist the force that is pushing against you or that you are in fact pushing against. (Pause) This already seems like a conclusive opinion so I will tell you why. 

But first, “every object will remain at rest unless compelled to change by an external force” - Isaac Newton

As long as we live, we cannot stay the same, over time; you will change, your environment will change, people around you will change and as they say “a river does not flow backward”.  Change is inevitable, it will happen either to you or because of you. It will happen because you are the force or because you are compelled to change by a force. 

Rest

So if change is inevitable, what you can do? 

Well, we can do what we are taught to do in the Bible, which is find to REST. (At this point I will leave you to go and dig up the specifics on how exactly we find rest despite the forces within and around us.)

Personally when faced with this change, – I did nothing or maybe I did something because before I got to that point, (the point where my heart is light enough to write this piece like I have just found water on the moon or the meaning of life) I fought and resisted. I wanted to retain my identity, I wanted to maintain the comforts of the place and the people I was with. I resisted and clung onto all whispers of home, home with everything and everyone I had known up to that point, home with my dreams. Quite simply I was the mouse that waited for the cheese to return.

Happiness

Happiness, happiness, happiness.... - But what is happiness anyway ?

Whatever it really is, as humans all we want is access to endless choices and to have certainty every day we wake up!  We want to know that when we add 1 + 1, we will get 2. We also want to be able to subtract 1 from 1 at our own will. That is it! (Can I get an Amen? 👋)

So here is something I found on happiness - "We believe that the reason for our existence is happiness. It is supposed, perhaps unknowingly that there will come a time when our suffering will be finished and the journey will come to an end. We will be happy, healthy, without depression, worry or anxiety, sitting comfortably with harmony within ourselves. However life by nature is never free of struggle but people are incessant in their belief that the day will come when it will all be over"

So now what? 

I also found Proverbs 14:13, "Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief". For a while this verse refused to leave me and so I sought out some meaning. This is what I what I found. In summary:

1. Not everyone who laughs is happy. Profuse and immoderate joy not always true pleasure, for outside signs are mixed with or end in real sadness - such is the vanity of present life.
2. One who depends on outward circumstances for his joy is the slave of externals and the sport of time and chance. 
3. There is always some portion of us that is unsatisfied - life is too short, it never meets any expectations 
4. Ultimately nothing can satisfy the soul of man but God - make Him the object of your desires. 

I believe God was asking me to change my focal point, to open my mind up to the pain that was now beginning to overshadow every other aspect of my life. 

In truth God has always been with me every step of the way and that was not about to change, He never does. I simply needed to readjust my thinking and fight the right fight.