green illusion

Pretty soon I shall be two and a half decades old, am a fully grown man and consider myself an adult and therefore know what it is I want in life, what I want for myself and from those that encircle me. That said, you too my dear are an adult and expect you to be certain of the things that drive you to wake at dawn.So if you expect me to crawl on hot coals, run through brick walls and cross the Atlantic just to proove to you how deep my eagerness to have you stretches, then you got it a little twisted. I do not see past curved lines and surely am not going to disrupt my cycle for you.

In between the moments of near bliss, affection and the spells of almost poetic living, love is not always love and roses are sometimes just black pungent little things. In a relationship, stars are not always perfectly aligned, there are no “soul mates” and fights are perfectly normal. There is no in between, no hot and cold, instead you are eternally stuck in either extremes of joy happiness or depression sorrow . There is always a fluctuation of emotion and the smallest of things often offset the balance. Points are easily lost just as they are earned and nobody forgets mistakes “wrongs” done, instead they are added to your tab. When you are single though, and are out looking in; chances are that all you see are red roses, strawberries, scented candles, nights under a full moon and endless bliss. You will in fact want and desire with every string of muscle of your “heart” to get in and have a piece of the pie. Alas, when you get in; the truth rubs your face like the very w...

It has been a couple of years now that I have been in this place and I can now quite confidently say that I know it well. I know it it just as well as the place I spent my infant years. I know it well because I have been coming here at the hatching of every dawn ever since I heard of it those many years back. It has been five years now but nothing has changed. Apart from the extra layers of dust on the floor and the now more intricate cobweb on the cracking walls, everything seems to have kept its place just like it was those many years ago. It is a lot more silent now though especially with the parting of its inhabitants who seemed to have got wary of the unbearable heat that that defines this place. So am left here alone, alone with the cracks on the walls, alone with the silence, alone with the heat. and even with the solitude that seems to be etching closer and closer to a life of its own, I still return here each and every day. I come back hoping, that it has chan...

"you have enslaved me, enslaved me to thoughts of you, debilitating thoughts. I cannot live with my mind this awake to you, it is infected, utterly intoxicated" " I cannot put a leash on these feelings, like a wild animal, I could only get myself hurt trying to. I have got to let it live, let it be" "the stains of my tears and the cracks on my heart will always remind me of her, keep the memories of her alive. There is no such thing as invincibility with love ....you get hurt whether in it or out of it...but they tell me that is life, it is complicated they say"

Oh men, it has been ages since I last posted anything....(gasps), c'est terrible! I guess it is my affair with twitter and a couple of other affairs that are to blame for my no show. Twitter sucks up my every thought almost immediately they spring up so I have practically no chance to let them cook into some sort of blog post. If I were a professional blogger then am pretty certain that I would be on the streets now begging for my next meal. I hope, I hope that soon I shall find relief and ending to this unending drought. Maybe I shall have to put aside my twitter affair for a while so to find rebirth!

All these excuses of accountability, checks and balances is beginning to give me a stomach ache! Why suddenly is a parliament that has constantly come short when we really needed them to come through start to pretend like it really cares about public spending? Why does bureaucracy come in the way when the most vital of needs must to be dealt with? I say enough of the shenanigans and give us back our power already,. We have suffered the cold, darkness and inconvenience let alone the stall in business too long already!For starters none of this is any of the common man's fault! Why does is have to be the poor mwanainchi who gets the short end of the stick whenever some civil servant somewhere falls short of his obligations? Why not just pluck out the dry leaf and let the others be? Enough of this absurd way of living I say, we need to move beyond this constant selfishness and self gratification. We need to start thinking more of country get some good old patriotism going and build...

There are quite a number of things that incense me on facebook! This is but one of them. Why people see the need to write on an individual's 'wall' so as to signal the presence mail is completely beyond me! I understand the need urge of our generation to document our every thought and action but this I find no more than a very local cheap attempt at seeking some sort of exclusivity and attention in an otherwise very public forum!You could be thinking that simply sending it is not enough, you have got to shout about it too in order to cause attention and annoy the sleepy neighbors while you are at it. I mean if a message is sent, it is obvious that the recipient will know of it by the red flag or notification via email. That leaves your extra attempt to publicize it only and only pitiful. If you really wanted to be private by sending a message, don't you think that you beat the cause by making it known to everyone else? Do you see what am talking about? But I gues...