Dead Friendships in a Chinese Bathroom...

Please give me a few more minutes, let me give it another shot, I can do better . You guys are all I have got, I need you... he begged.
Why will you not concede? We know where this is going, this is what you should do - they retorted.
Rusty circles and a handful of raw lemons - they offered!

When you are closer to 30 or over it, everything you do has got to be objective - it really has to be!
From the food you eat, the money you spend, the words you say and more importantly the relations you keep. There is really no time to go around on taste runs, it is expected that you should have refined your taste and opinions, that your character is defined to some level.

I had long given up on the idea of a 'best friend' a long long time ago after 'my boy' turned out not to be my boy after all - in its place I chose multiple friends who offered me a little bit of everything with very little effort exerted at a time.
I felt that this was the safer approach. I now didn't have to lay all my expectations from companionship on one individual, one fallible human being like I am. I recognized that sometimes he/she may not be up for the camaraderie or I  may just not give a hoot.
I referred to this as "perspective & maturity".

Now even with this new found ideology, even after restricting myself to mature and mutually beneficial relations, its hard to escape the need, the, the itch and compulsion to draw closer circles - 'inner circles' as a friend of calls them.
Unfortunately though, wherever there is an expectation, even in the slightest bit, disappointment is not too far away. Only God guarantees 100% - In the bible, we are warned a number of times not to place hope and trust in man.

So here is my new ideology, a sad but realistic  one unfortunately  - there is no guarantee when it comes to relationships between human beings. Circumstances change, priorities change, we are tested and in the process relations built outside fundamental values break and end.

According to the theory of behavior / reasoned action; an individual is most likely to behave in a certain way if it is to their benefit, if its socially desirable and if he/she feels social pressure to do so. Basically we are a selfish bunch - but we all knew that already.  The question is what happens when these motivating factors change?

There is therefore a need to inspect the material on which we build our relationships. (is it Chinese?)  Do we share core values which can allow us brave storms or are we together because of the aesthetics, because it feels good, because we look good or because it suits your immediate need or urge.

Personally I question all my relations, I question them every day to check the legitimacy and my commitment to them. Do I want to take your number, are we friends, do we just work in the same organisation or are we simply acquaintances like the fella I have very deep discussions with on football tactics at the local bar every other Saturday.  I am certain my bar mate has a life, he has a character and well developed opinions but am I interested in perusing them?

On Sunday, the preacher challenged the 'younger men' in church; - he said 'if you are not serious with a man's daughter ' just shut up & stay away'. (Yes there was silence among the men and cheers by the girls)

Yes, this is life, we grow, we move and start all over again & here is to the promises and pinky swears we made - But as we move on to start new adventures, I hope we are more inclined to pick those we really want to stay true to. If we are only selfish humans lets choose to value things things that actually matter.

I am certain I read this somewhere - "beauty takes you there but character brings you back".

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